3 important actions if you’re in crisis: Talk. Walk. Smile.
Human beings have one thought every nine seconds, about 6.5 thoughts per minute, and 6,000 thoughts per day1.
Impressive as that may be, for the more than 14 million U.S. adults2 who suffer from suicidal ideation – i.e. frequent thoughts of death, dying, or suicide – generating that many thoughts a day can be a curse, not a blessing.
To be clear, suicidal ideation does not always lead to an attempt or suicide.
However, “most people who die by suicide, we are learning increasingly, do struggle with what we now call chronic suicidal ideation,” says Clancy Martin, University of Missouri–Kansas City philosophy professor and author of the book “How Not To Kill Yourself: A Portrait Of The Suicidal Mind.”
He should know. Martin has struggled with chronic suicidal ideation – which refers to an extended period of persistent, recurring suicidal thoughts – since he was a young boy. He has attempted suicide 10 times. His book is part memoir of his own struggles and part practical advice for people suffering from suicidal ideation.
Practical advice
Martin repeatedly shares three pieces of practical advice when he talks to someone in crisis. These are tools that work for him.
Talk.
Walk.
Smile.
“Taking a walk and simply talking to people – both are very reliable, immediate medicine. They are the first things I do to try and stop the bleeding, so to speak,” says Martin.
Talking to another person helps relieve the pressure, or as Martin told The New Yorker, it helps a person see they’re “not locked in a coffin sinking into the sea.”
“The whole key is just talking. And for those who are trying to help someone who is suffering, be willing to listen and not try to solve their problems. If you can keep that person talking, just the act of talking will help them start to see that other options are available to them. Just the act of talking will lessen the pressure and will ease the pain,” said Martin.
Walking also helps relieve the pressure and removes the person from danger. A suicidal person’s physical environment is not a safe place, because the means, the tool, is likely in that space. “In my experience, if people go for a walk, they will see things that they otherwise might not see, and that can provide them with a little bit of recollection of why it’s better to live today,” Martin said in a Depresh Mode podcast.
Finally, smiling at someone, simply making the muscular effort to do so, allows the brain to take over just a little bit and help them feel a bit better, said Martin. Plus, knowing they may have induced even a small amount of happiness in another person can positively impact the trajectory of the person in crisis.
Who to talk to if you or someone you know is in crisis
Martin emphasizes calling or texting someone immediately if in crisis – a family member, friend, someone who feels safe, or:
- Call or text 988 – 988 connects to a trained counselor at the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, who will listen, understand, support, and connect to resources if needed.
1Nature Communications, 2020, and How many thoughts do we have a day?, John M Jennings, 2022
2Notes from the Field: Suicidal Thoughts and Knowing Someone Who Died by Suicide Among Adults, CDC, 2025
