Loneliness and loss during the holidays
When distance and circumstance prevent you from being with those you love during the holidays, its not uncommon to become sad and lonely. If you’ve lost someone close in the past year, the holidays will likely feel less bright. When others are celebrating, you may experience resentment, anxiety, emptiness, and grief. Here are a few suggestions for managing these normal reactions and soothing your sadness.
Don’t pretend
Rather than putting on a “happy face” when you aren’t feeling so merry, give yourself permission to feel your emotional truth. Acknowledging what you feel allows you to express and release painful emotions so that you don’t carry the weight of them around. In fact, a recent survey found that 31% of adults in the U.S. have reported experiencing loneliness during the holidays. You’re not the only one feeling like you’re missing out on what you’re “supposed” to feel during this time of year. To help, try writing a letter to the ones you won’t be with. Letting go is easier once you have put a name on a feeling. “I will really miss seeing you this season.” This can open a discussion of ways to connect without being physically together.
Be gentle with yourself
If a loved one has died this year, you may feel especially vulnerable. As many as 35% of people deal with grief during the holiday season to the point of dreading that time each year. Take things day by day. You will have some better days and can reach out to others when you have the energy. You have the right to change your mind. Ask for what you need. You’ll be surprised how others will include you and how taking part in small ways may ease your sadness.
You have choices
While many families in the U.S. celebrate traditions that were passed down to them, 18% say they’ve adopted their own. When loss or circumstance changes how we spend the holidays, it can be an opportunity to create new traditions. What feels appropriate is different for each of us. What brings you peace? How can you honor a loved one who is no longer with you? Who do you know that has been through what you are facing now? Consider talking with them about their experience.
You grieve because you loved
While your person is gone, the love isn’t. Reach out to a friend, family member, or professional for help in your grief journey, especially during the holidays. You don’t have to do it alone.
#HopeForTheHolidays #StressLess
If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health this holiday season, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 9-8-8.
Mindful Advocates are also available 24/7 to Blue KC members at 833-302-MIND (6463). A Mindful Advocate can offer in-the-moment support and help you access tools, including in-person, text, online therapy, and virtual care options specific to your behavioral healthcare needs.
Other helpful resources
- Conquering Year-End Anxieties and Embracing a Fresh Start
- A Guide to Holidays with Boundaries
- SAD Symptoms and How to Combat Them
This article is brought to you by Lucet. Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Kansas City partners with Lucet to optimize our members’ access to behavioral health services. For more information call the behavioral health number on your member ID card or login to your member portal at MyBlueKC.com. If you are experiencing a medical emergency call 9-1-1. If you are experiencing a behavioral health emergency call or text, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 9-8-8.
